One Size Fits All

I joke about it a lot.

And I talk about it a lot.

And this blog post is in no way meant to sound like a plea for pity.

On the contrary, this blogpost is an expression of rejoicing.

I am rejoicing, because I have always had a problem with my weight.

Honestly, I don't remember a time that I wasn't overweight.

I remember having to shop in the women's section while I was still in elementary school.

I remember not being able to wear any of the clothes that the cool girls wore in middle school.

I remember crying because I couldn't find a prom dress in my size.

I remember telling people I was the "funny fat girl" and I actually enjoyed being known as that.

And I was fine with the way I looked until, well, I just wasn't anymore.

I don't know what changed- suddenly I just looked in the mirror and found that I wasn't OK being the largest person in my family.

I wasn't OK with not being able to shop in regular stores.

I wasn't OK with feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.

So I had to make a change.

And still everyday, some five years after I began this weight loss journey, I have to make a conscious decision.

I have to diet, when most of my friends don't have to.

I have to run, in order to keep fitting into those new jeans.

I have to realize that I will gain 6 pounds just by looking at a cookie.

And you know what- some days it sucks.

Somedays, I don't want to have to think about everything I put in my mouth.

Somedays, I don't want to have to work out to still be able to stay the same size.

Somedays, I wish that being healthy wasn't such a struggle.

Somedays, I wish that I could just be normal.

But then I realize- God designed me this way.

He gave me these challenges for a reason.

He created my metabolism, as slow and haggard as it is.

And through my changing body, and battle with food there are two things that I have realized.

God is unchanging, although my waist size may not be. ( "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever" Hebrews 13:8).

And how God views me has always been the same, when I've been a size 22

Or a 14

Or a 6. ( " I am fearfully and wonderfully made" Psalm 139:14).

Do I wish that I never had to think about my weight?

Of course.

Would I give anything to not have to work out five times a week?

Duh.

How much would I give to be able to walk into a Krispy Kreme without joining a new weight class?

A lot of money.

But at the end of the day, I was created by a Lord that loves me, faithfully, and undeservingly.

And if the only way I could learn that, and fully grasp that, is by seeing that His love is the same, no matter my size,

Well, that trade off seems pretty fair to me.