Taste And See

Recently, I've developed a fear.

A fear that is not healthy.

A fear this is not productive.

A fear that is slightly weird.

Recently, I've been afraid of anything that tastes too good.

Weight loss has been a big part of my story,

A big part of my life change,

A big part of my walk with the Lord.

And through this life change,

I've learned to fear anything that tastes too good.

Because anything that tastes too good is full of calories,

And sugar,

And regret.

And so I feel like I live life teetering on the edge,

A tightrope walk.

Give into the cravings enough so that you don't let the cravings overtake you,

Have a cookie,

But make sure it's sugar free.

Enjoy the cake,

But you better stop at one bite.

Because anything that tastes too good,

Will send you spiraling back to the person that you used to be.

And as I sit here today,

I have to look at this fear,

And look at this way of life,

With complete honesty and realize,

What a sad way that is to live.

A life of fear,

A life of teetering,

A life of tightrope walking.

Turning something that is meant to bring joy,

Into something that brings fear.

And I think that sometimes,

I look at a lot of blessings from the Lord in this same way.

What is this new job is too good?

What if this new relationship feels too right?

What if this season of life is just too happy?

What if I give in,

Completely sit in the blessings,

Only to loose my footing,

And wind up in a place of loss,

And longing,

And regret?

But I think the bigger question is this-

What happens if I don't?

What happens if I don't sit and enjoy the blessings,

Take the leap,

Take a bite,

Savor the taste,

Because I'm too busy living in fear of what may happen?

Then I live a life of fear.

A life full of swallowing what may be's,

Instead of a life of tasting the joy,

Tasting the blessings,

Tasting the goodness,

So today, I choose to taste.

I choose to "taste and see that the Lord is good" (Psalm 34:8).

And today tastes like a warm, nutty cup of coffee I sip while I write this very post.

Today tastes like the comfort of life long friends who call just because.

Today tastes like the sweetness of butterflies in your stomach and across the table gazes.

Today tastes like the richness of getting to know a Lord who loves me so dearly He gives me blessings just because.

Blessings that can be free from fear.

Today tastes warm,

Today tastes like comfort.

Today tastes sweet.

Today tastes rich.

Today tastes good.

Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him! 

Psalm 34:8

The posts on this site are my own personal opinions. They are not read or approved by Southside Ministries, Inc. prior to posting and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of Southside Ministries, Inc.

Sitting in Sweetness

Today, I'm sitting in sweetness.

A season where life just feels full. 

I have a job I love, a new adventure that as I lay my head down at night, I feel exhausted, and so very fulfilled.

I've gotten to see God answer prayers, prayers that I was almost too exhausted to ask again, prayers that felt impossible, prayers that were answered as God often does;

Effortlessly,

And timely,

And in a personal,

And so very intimate way.

My heart feels full. 

Today I'm smack dab in the middle of a season of sweetness.

But as I looked back at blogposts over the last year, I remembered the moments that led up to this season.

And those were anything but sweet.

They were full of tears,

And frustration,

And confusion,

And changing of plans,

And letting go of dreams.

Those moments were hard to swallow,

And difficult to accept.

Those moments were bitter.

But as I sit here today,

I have to stop and think.

I have to wonder.

Would I recognize the sweetness, if I hadn't felt the bitter?

Would I have seen the prayers answered, 

If I hadn't first prayed those prayers on tear stained journal pages?

Would my heart feel as full right now,

If at one time, it hadn't felt just a little by empty?

So maybe,

In a way,

My prayers aren't being answered in this season of sweetness.

Maybe my prayers were being answered in a season of bitter,

But I just had to come out on the other side to recognize it. 

Maybe the sweetest times aren't when you're sitting in the middle of the sweetness.

Maybe the sweetest times are when you're in the middle of the bitterness, because those times are so very necessary to being able to see the moments of sweetness. 

So maybe in my next season where life feels hard to swallow,

Or hard to accept,

Maybe in the next season where life just looks bitter,

I can sit, 

And wait,

And recognize,

That this might be the sweetest season yet. 

Because it's because of the bitter,

Not in spite of it,

That you'll be able to see the sweet.