Happy Thoughts and Pixie Dust

My family is a Disney family.

Always have been.

I can’t count on my two hands the amount of times the Johnson’s have graced the streets of the Magic Kingdom, dined on Mickey Mouse shaped ice cream bars, gotten our passports stamped in the various countries of Epcot, and been visitors on the safari in the Animal Kingdom.

Honestly, at this point, we could probably lead the safari with very little assistance.

And every time we go to Disney World, no matter how old we are, we know there is one ride that we are not going to miss.

The Peter Pan ride is my Dad’s favorite.

So we always wait in the ridiculously long line,

Stuff our now far too adult size bodies into the flying pirate ships,

And spend a grand total of three minutes soaring through the skies of London and the hills of Never Never Land.

And, according to Peter Pan, there are only two things required of Wendy, Michael and John to take such a glorious adventure,

Only two things required to fly.

A little bit of Pixie Dust.

And thinking happy thoughts.

Thinking happy thoughts is all that’s required to leave the house that Wendy, John and Michael want to escape.

Thinking happy thoughts is the only thing that keeps them from the life they desire.

And for a while, I think I believed that same thing.

Having a bad day?

Just think happy thoughts.

Feeling sad?

Don’t feel that way. Just think happy thoughts.

Feeling uneasy about a big decision?

Push those feelings aside and just think happy thoughts.

I wanted to tiptoe through life, carefully guiding myself past anything that might make me feel pain, and choosing to only see the happy things, no matter how I’m really feeling at the moment.

I’ve been tiptoeing through life.

And honestly, I’ve been tiptoeing towards God.

I’ve been scared to bring Him the messy.

I’ve been scared to bring Him the hard.

I’ve been scared to bring Him the truth.

I’ve only wanted to bring Him the cleaned up, put together version of myself.

I’ve only wanted to bring Him happy thoughts.

And this morning, I realized that this tiptoeing I’ve been doing around the messy,

And the hard,

And the truth that sometimes life is full of things other then pixie dust and happy thoughts,

May have caused me to really miss some important things about loving life,

And in turn, loving God.

Why am I only trying to bring the happy to the One who created joy?

Why am I trying to hide my messy from the one who can clean it up?

Why am I trying to brush away the hard from the One who sent His son to die for my sins to maybe make life just a little bit easier?

Why am I, when you look at it with a hard and unforgiving eye, trying to lie to God about the truth that life is

Messy,

And hard,

And full of heartbreak?

But it’s not until you allow yourself to feel those messy,

And hard feelings,

That you can come just as you are before the feet of your Heavenly Father,

And have somewhere to lay your burdens.

So really, I think Peter Pan lied.

I’m all about happy thoughts.

But I don’t think those are the things that truly make you fly.

I don’t think that those are what get you through the hard times.

I don’t think that’s what makes life an adventure.

I don’t think those are what bring God the most joy.

I think it’s the messy,

And the hard,

And what Walt Disney would never want to write about in one of his movies,

That truly makes you fly.

Feeling those emotions, no matter how hard, and bringing them to the Lord,

And recognizing that sometimes life isn’t simply fixed with a little pinch of Pixie Dust.

Sometimes life is messy,

Sometimes life is hard,

But to truly live,

And to truly love the Lord like He desires us to,

We have to live, and feel, each moment,

And know that we have a God that isn’t going to let us escape all of our problems, and everything difficult we might ever feel.

We have a God that’s going to put on His boots, and wade through the messy with us.

We have a God that never wants us to tiptoe up to His throne.

We have a God that wants us to come running, no matter what baggage we have in tow.

And to me, that’s better then a little pinch of pixie dust.

A Gate Called Beautiful

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about how I choose to look at my life.

Recently, I've been in a bit of a funk.

I've been choosing to see the negative.

I've been choosing to see the hard.

I've been choosing to see what doesn't seem fair.

And most days, it doesn't even feel like I'm choosing to see the negative,

Or the hard,

Or the unfair. 

Most days, it seems like that's all there is to see.

Everyday, it seems like the struggles are always the same.

And when the struggles are the same,

day after day,

Sometimes it just seems like these things are destined to be your burdens,

Your struggles,

Your insecurities.

And we just have to accept them,

And move on.

But today, I was reading a story in Acts that showed me that sometimes, when it comes to those struggles,

Those burdens,

Those insecurities,

We're just not looking at the right place.

Jesus had just been taken back to heaven.

And all the disciples were continuing to preach his gospel, build his church, and perform miracles.

And let me tell you, this new church was hopping.

And one day Peter and John were going to the temple to pray, when they saw a lame man sitting next to the temple gate called Beautiful.

He was carried and placed at this gate everyday, to beg from those going into the temple courts.

When Peter and John walked by, this man asked them for money.

And Peter responded with a few simple words:

"Look up at us".

This man, who sat at the temple gate called Beautiful everyday was so downtrodden, he no longer bothered to look up at the people passing by.

He simply looked down,

Down at his withered legs,

Down at his struggles,

Down at his burdens,

Down at his insecurities.

He looked down and only saw what held him back.

And it was when he choose to look up at Peter and John,

And take the hand of a man proclaiming the name of Jesus Christ,

That he was finally able to stand.

His ankles became strong.

And he was able to walk,

"He began walking and jumping and praising God" ( Acts 3:8)

But this was only able to happen because he choose to look away from his struggles,

His burdens,

His insecurities, 

And look up,

And see the potential that lived just beyond the gate called Beautiful, if he was simply able to have faith,

And believe that there was life,

And a God,

That was so much bigger then his struggles,

His burdens,

His insecurities.

This morning, I want to choose to walk away from my gate called Beautiful.

I want to look down at my withered legs,

My struggles,

My burdens, 

And insecurities,

And make a choice.

A choice to believe that these struggles don't define me,

A choice to believe that these burdens can be shed,

A choice to believe that even with these insecurities I can still look up,  

And see a God that has much bigger plans for me,

Plans that live just beyond this gate called Beautiful I have chosen to sit at everyday.

Plans that don't focus on what I can't do,

But plans that focus on what He can.

Plans that don't focus on where I'm weak,

But plans that focus on how in my weakness He can make me strong.

Plans that don't focus on the mistakes of my past,

But plans that focus on the glorious future that He desires for me.

All I need to do is look away from my withered legs 

Knowing that my struggles,

And burdens,

And insecurities,

Are big,

But that I serve a God that is so much bigger.

That desires so much more for me then a gate called Beautiful.