Ursula's In The Closet

Everyone has their fears.

Some people are afraid of spiders.

Some get the creeps by just looking at a snake.

Heights make some grown men scream like a little girl,

and if you watch enough Maury, you'll find out that some people are even afraid of cotton balls.

We all have our fears.

And when I was growing up, I had a lot.

I thought Ursula  lived in my closet,

I wouldn't see  Lilo and Stitch, even if it was about a good alien,

And I never will get over the " Are You Afraid of The Dark?" intro.

But my biggest fear, hands down, the fear that paralyzed me and made mall trips extremely difficult-

Escalators. Specifically, those going down.

I don't knowwhat it was about them. I was fine going up. I could ride those like a champ.

But there was something about going down.

Maybe it was the continuous movement of those never ending stairs.

Or maybe it was that old wives tale about a kid whose shoelace got stuck in an escalator and he ended up losing his leg.

Maybe I just understood at a young age that I was extremely clumsy and that the likelihood of my falling going down was much greater then when I was going up.

Either way, there was only one way I got on those escalators-

My mother had to reach out, take my hand, and ride on the step in front of me, never letting go.

And we got along OK like that. At least, for a little while.

Until one day, she took me and my little brother to the mall.

And she decided to take his hand on the downward staircase of doom.

And when she looked up, halfway down the escalator, she saw I wasn't behind her.

I was standing at the top of the escalator crying, no, screaming, for anyone to help me through my biggest fear.

And my poor, sweet mother had to turn around, pick up my little brother, and run up the down escalator, to come and rescue me.

Only this time, she didn't take my hand.

I'm sure she was irritated.

I'm sure she was embarrassed.

I'm sure she was sweaty from running up a down escalator with a 3 year old in tow.

So this time, she laid down the law. This time she said

"I'm going to go first. I'll be on the step right in front of. Just step, stand still, and hold on."

I think we all need that.

It seems so much easier to just stand at the top of the escalator when we're going through scary times.

It's in those scary times that we want someone to help us through.

Times that we're unsure of what's ahead.

Times that we can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Times that we would rather do anything then make any sort of move.

And the great thing is, we all have that.

God has promised us, since Moses walked the Earth, that he will go ahead of us when we're the most scared.

When we're the most unsure.

When we need the most help.

He promises this in Exodus 15:14.

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still". 

He will look in the closet to make sure Ursula's not there.

He will turn off "Are You Afraid of The Dark" when we're too scared to move from under our covers.

He will stand on the escalator in front of us, make sure that our shoes are tied, and show us that everything is going to be OK.

And the greatest thing about it?

The greatest part about a God that loves us so much that he will fight our scariest battles when we're just not brave enough to?

We don't have to do anything.

We only have to take that step, hold on, be still and know he's one step ahead of us.

Diet Coke With A Splash Of Cherry

"And who is ever going to know how I like my fountain drinks?!? No one is ever going to bring me a Diet Coke with a splash of cherry ever again!"

I cried.

I sobbed.

I wept.

I was holding on to a baseball fence in the middle of the Boston Common while it was pouring down rain.

I was a senior in college.

I was about to graduate.

I was about to leave all of my friends.

I was about to move away from the town I had made my home for the last four years.

I was about to live in a new city.

I was about to start a new job.

I was about to start a new life.

And I was worried about the quality of my fountain drinks.

This may sound ridiculous. This may sound overdramatic. But to those that know me well, they know the way to my heart is not through flowers,

It's not through chocolates.

It's not through words of affirmation.

It's through Diet Coke. Preferably in a form of a Big Gulp.

And although this weeping statement may sound trivial to some, it really was filled with my deepest fears about leaving Emerson College, leaving my friends, leaving the home I had created.

Who will get to me so well that they know how I like my favorite thing, without even having to ask?

It's in our nature that we as humans like to be known.

We want someone to know our likes, our dislikes, our fears, our dreams, our favorite food, our favorite beverage.

We want to know that someone in this world is thinking about us.

We want to know that we are special.

And loved.

And cared for.

And thought about.

And known.

And when we're faced with the reality that we're going to be in a place where nobody knows us in that way, the panic ridden, fence clinging sobbing ensues.

And not the pretty face sobbing- the ugly face sobbing.

I wish that night that someone would have grabbed me, pulled me off the fence, looked me dead in the eye and told me the truth.

Katie, wherever you go, you will be known.

Katie, you have a God that knows you intimately and personally.

Katie you have a God that promises "Indeed, the very hairs on your head is numbered" (Luke 12: 7)

Katie you have a God that "knew you before you were formed in your mother's womb" (Jeremiah 1:5)

Katie you have a God that knows not only how you like your fountain drink, but knows the exact Diet Coke to splash of Cherry Coke ratio that will make it the best fountain drink you've ever tasted.

Katie you are special.

Katie you are loved.

Katie you are cared for.

Katie you are thought about.

Katie, you are known.

And you, my dear friends, are known by that same amazing God.

The First Cup is the Sweetest

Superman has kryptonite.

The Green Lantern has any object colored yellow.

Every team in the SEC has Alabama.

We all have our weaknesses.

Mine, comes in the form of anything fried. Or in a wrapper. Or on a cone.

I love food. And as a child, I loved food a little too much, and the results, were, well embarrassing to say the least. See the photo below. Yes that is me. And no, I don't have a pillow stuffed under my shirt as my mother recently guessed when I showed her this picture. That is pure belly, developed from gorging myself on chicken fingers, french fries, and anything nougat covered.

And now that we're getting closer to All Hallow's Eve, a favorite holiday of my former fat self ( when else is it OK to eat an entire pillow case of candy?...and maybe some of your little brothers that you stole when you went through yours? Sorry Drew) there is a memory that continues to pop into my head and haunt my dreams.

I was 10 years old, around the age of the dreaded picture above. In all of my bowl cut glory, I was anxiously awaiting October 31st, my second favorite day of the year. (My birthday always wins out. Presents AND cake and ice cream? What could be better). My Mom and Dad were going on a trip, and to be ahead of the game, had bought the Halloween candy early, and was safely tucked away in our top cabinet.

Safely, of course, until she told me about it.

"Katie, I have the Halloween candy up in the cabinet. You cannot eat it. Those Reeses Cups are not for you. They're for the trick or treaters. Do. Not. Eat. Them. All."

But the rest of her word were all dull mumbles to me. She had said the magic words, the words that turned my knees to jello, and put my mind in an instant haze, incapacitating me from thinking of anything else.

Reeses Cups.

I love Reeses Cups. The perfect blend of chocolate and peanut butter, straight manna from heaven and the nectar of the Gods.

And I tried to resist. I really did. I did everything I could to take my mind off the treasures that await me.

I played Barbies ( yes, I still played Barbies at the age of 10). I read the newest Harry Potter book. I watched tv. I waited the 10 minutes for the internet to dial up and tried to play the newest Sims game I had got.

But, I was tempted. They were whispering my name.

So, I tiptoed downstairs. And I opened the cabinet. I took out the bag. And I ripped it open. And I took one, just one, of the delectable morsels.

Then one more.

And another.

And another.

Until finally, I was sick to my stomach, my face was covered in chocolate, and there was one single Reeses Cup left in the jumbo sized Halloween bag.

I had technically followed my moms rules. I didn't eat them all. 

There was still one left.

But I knew, deep down, that wasn't going to be good enough.

In the book of Exodus, the Pharaoh of Egypt goes through this same power struggle with God.

God tells Moses to go to the Pharaoh and relay His one simple command.

“Let my people go, so that they may worship me.”

Not just men. Not just women. Not just children. Not just the animals.

God was talking about all of his people.

And Pharaoh kept trying to get around his command.

He would let all the men go.

No, and then came a plague from God.

He would let the women and the children go.

Nope- take another plague.

All the people could go, but the animals had to stay.

No way Jose- take yet another plague.

How many times do we try to take God's commands and do everything but one small little piece?

How many times do we do follow one little piece of His guidance, and then ignore the rest?

How many times do we eat all of the Reeses, and leave just one, so that we can claim

"Hey, look at me, I obeyed!"

I wonder how our lives would be different if we didn't just follow some of God's commands, but every single one of them?

How many relationships would we get out of? How many friendships would we change? How much better would our witnesses be?

And, if we started viewing these command not as rules to keep us from having fun, but instead, advice from our heavenly father that loves us so dearly's attempt to keep us safe and fulfilled, how would our lives be different?

How many stomaches and tearful confessions to our mom would be avoid?

How many messy breakups and heartbreaks would we escape?

This is my prayer for me, and for you my dear friends-

That we take all of His commands with an open heart, and an open mind.

That we are not those "one Reeses in the bottom of the bag" kind of Christian.

We are bag completely full, joy overflowing, followers of the Almighty King.

Weddings- Just An Adult Prom?

Let's face it- for a woman, anywhere between the ages of 18-20 something-ish, weddings have become an obsession.

Whether you're looking at pinterest links,

Crying over engagement videos,

Or tuning in to watch women pay extremely too much money for a dress they're only going to wear once, weddings have become something that every girl dreams about.

But what is it that really makes weddings so special? What about weddings get our hearts pumping and force our estrogen level to shoot through the roof?

Because really, when you think about it, weddings are just a big party.

It's kind of like your own personal, adult prom.

Before you get upset, I challenge you to think about the steps of prom.

1. Wait for the right man to come along.

2. Wait a little bit longer.

3. Dance around the subject, until finally the man decides to ask the question.

4. Search for the perfect dress.

5. Search for the perfect restaurant to eat  in said perfect dress.

6. Find the perfect dress.

7. Find the perfect restaurant.

8. Spend far too much money and time getting hair, makeup, and nails done.

9. Take far too many pictures with a "select" group of friends.

10. Take far too many pictures with the man whose cumberbund matches your dress.

11. Go to a large party.

12. Leave large party, never wearing said perfect dress again.

13. Put up an album on facebook with far too many pictures of 6 hours of your life.


Sounds pretty accurate to me- if I was completely cynical and unromantic. Which I'm not.


You see, the reason I love weddings so much is for a completely different reason altogether.


Sure, I love all things monogrammed, and sure, I love a good piece of overpriced cake.


But the real reason I love weddings is because of the promises that are exchanged.


The promises of love. The promises of commitment. The promises made to another person that says-


I am yours. And you are mine.


And, luckily, we have a God that makes, and keeps these same kind of promises.


In Exodus, when Moses was beginning the journey of taking the Israelites out of Egypt, God knew that the Israelites needed some reassurance. They needed some words, some promises that made this commitment worthwhile- worth the time, worth the danger, worth the trust.

And God told Moses

⁶ “Therefore, say to the Israelites: ‘I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. ⁷ I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God"

The Lord, the God of the Universe, made himself so very real to these people in their greatest time of need. Not only was He offering a way out of their suffering, but more importantly He was making a promise.

A promise that they would be His.

And even more mind blowing, a promise that He would be theirs.

I think we as people strive for that reassurance, that no matter what, someone will be on our side. Someone will be there. Someone will love us.

And so we go looking for it in the form of a boyfriend, or a husband, a prom date, or anyone that will show us that attention.

When really, all we need to do is stop. 

We need to stop and realize we already have that promise from the Creator of the Universe. 

Someone that is incapable of breaking promises.

And that, my dear friends, is something to take share on pinterest.  

Middle School Moses

I was not very cool in Middle School. I admit it. I've accepted it.

 I did band, theater, show choir , Odyssey of the Mind and was all around a little bit lame.

And you're probably thinking- "No Katie, no one was cool in Middle School".

But I beg to disagree.

Gymnastics? Cool.

Cheerleading?  Cool.


Spandex neon cheetah print glitter pants? Cool.

An overweight girl trying to do gymnastics and cheerleading routines and trying to squeeze into said pants? Not cool.

But I had one redeeming grace.

My two best friends were cool. People wanted to hang out with them, boys wrote notes to them, and so, somehow, through the social filtration system, I was allowed into the "cool" parties. 

So, I followed at their skirt tails, and generally stood by the snack table, or talking to the parents that were there chaperoning the parties.

But that didn't matter. Because I was at the party. 

I couldn't have gotten in by myself. If I had walked up, all chubby cheeked and skort wearing, I probably would have been laughed at and turned away.

It wasn't about who I was. It was about who was with me.

The same thing happened to Moses- well, he never wore skorts.

Moses was out tending his sheep one day, when he came upon a bush that was burning. And burning. And burning. But the bush never actually burned away.

And then, to top it all off, the bush called his name. 

"Moses, Moses"

Now, if I was Moses, I would have left those sheep and ran as fast as I could. But in those days, talking burning plant life must have been normal because Moses simply stayed and answered

"Here I am".

God then told Moses that he had seen the misery of the Israelites who had been enslaved by the Egyptians and Moses was going to be the one to get His people out of Egypt. He was to go to the Pharaoh and tell him that he was about to lose his millions of slaves, and he was just going to have to be OK with that. 

Now, if that burning plant hadn't been enough to send Moses packing, the fact that he was about to have to go break this news to the ruler of his country ( who also happened to be his adopted grandfather) would have done it. But there's a reason he's in the Bible, because he simply accepted his challenge and said

“Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?”

and God responded

"I will be with you."

He didn't say "Moses you've got this" or "Moses, you will succeed due to you sheer strength and butt kicking abilities in those awesome Birkenstock looking sandals you're wearing"

He simply gave the only answer Moses needed.

You can do it, because I will be with you.

You are nobody, but with me, you can bring an entire country to their freedom.

You may not be able to get into that totally cool Halloween party by yourself, but I'm going to let you be my plus one.

And with that amazing reassurance, that promise that whatever we come upon, God will be there with us, to take us by the hand and walk us through this crazy life, who are we to fear?

We have the ultimate, eternal, powerful plus one.

Whether we look good in glittery animal print pants or not.