Live: A Definition

Adult life is hard,

Adult life is difficult.

And adult life is different then I imagined.

There's a routine,

Get up.

Go to the gym.

Go to work.

Go home.

Go to bed.

And of course, there's a few moments of change in that routine.

But in all of the words of wisdom I got about what it means to be an adult,

There was one piece of advice I never heard.

Remember how you want to live.

Because in the midst of the everyday life,

In the midst of work,

In the midst of bills,

In the midst of grocery shopping,

In the midst of doing all of the things necessary to lead a stable life,

I've forgotten how to live.

And today I came across this verse, and I was reminded of a simple truth.

"Since I live, you will also live" ( John 14:20)

Because Jesus rose and died again, I'm offered life.

Because Jesus lives,

I also live.

And the beautiful thing about that,

The beautiful thing about this offer of life,

Is not not everyone's definition of life has to be identical.

There are the basics that are same,

But when God created each of us individually,

Designed us uniquely,

He created us with passions that make us excited to get of bed in the morning, 

He created us with hopes and dreams,

He created us with a desire to live, and live fully.

And sometimes, 

In order to truly live, and live fully,

We have to step back,

And define with that looks like for us.

I have to define what it means for me to truly live.

To truly live, I need community.

I need to be surrounded by people, who know me intimately,

Who knows what makes me laugh,

What makes me cry,

Who will bring me a Diet Coke to celebrate,

And a Diet Coke when I need to mourn.

To truly live,

I need people who walk with me through seasons of life,

In the good,

The bad,

And the ugly.

To truly live, I need to constantly learn.

To learn about myself,

To learn about others,

And to learn about those passions that I think about when I get out of the bed in the morning.

To truly live, I need to be intentional about time by myself,

Time spent alone,

Time spent away from the distractions of a busy world,

That tells it's not OK to sit still,

That busy is better,

And another Netflix binge will fill my time when I feel lonely,

Instead of learning to sit in that loneliness,

And embrace the time alone.

To truly live, I need to write,

To craft sentences,

To edit and erase,

Write and start over,

Because that's where I can best hear the whispers of God in the middle of the noise I surround myself with.

To truly live, I need to dream.

I need to dream of a future,

A future full of dream of adventures,

Of spontaneous trips,

Of open doors,

And full houses.

To truly live, I need to remember

Remember who I am,

And where I came from.

I need to remember that every day is a part of the journey, and that's part of the beauty.

To truly live I need to remember that my dreams don't have to be in the future.

I need to remember that all of those things can be part of my life in the here and now.

To live, I need to choose.

Choose what brings me joy.

Choose what makes me full.

Choose what brings me life.

To live, I need to define what to truly live looks like to me.

Because in the midst of the everyday life,

In the midst of work,

In the midst of bills,

In the midst of grocery shopping,

In the midst of doing all of the things necessary to lead a stable life,

It's easy to forget.

So, what's your definition of what it means to live?

What do you need to live life fully?

And how will you choose not to forget?

Senior Year of Real Life

A few days ago, a friend from college texted me.

A friend that I met on my first day of freshman year.

A friend who I didn't know at the time would be a key staple of college.

A friend, despite all of his quirks,

Has taught me what true friendship can look like.

What friendship can look like when you're different as can be,

But still manage to find the beauty in those differences.

And this friend,

This quirky,

Talented,

Comic book reading friend,

Sent me a text that caused my heart to stop.

"Katie, we've been out of college for four years. That's enough time for us to do college all over again".

And then,

In his usual persistent fashion,

A follow up text,

"What have you learned in the last four years?"

I haven't sent a return text yet.

Partly due to the fact that I'm generally highly unskilled at the art of text message conversation.

But much more largely due to the fact that the question made me stop and think.

What have I learned in these first four years of adulthood,

These first four years of "real life?"

What have I learned in the the four years after the four years that are supposed to be the best of your life?

What have I learned, since I was that 22 year old girl, marching across the graduation stage in her cap and gown and cowboy boots?

I have learned that sometimes your home isn't always isn't as permanent as you wish.

And when you leave, and start to try tp make a new place home, your heart stretches trying to make room for this new place and new people,

And although that stretching may be painful,

There's always room for both places,

Both of your heart homes.

I have learned that sometimes God answers prays in small and intimate ways,

And sometimes those prayers are answered quickly, and  you feel like God is so incredibly faithful,

But sometimes those prayers are answered only after being prayed with a soundtrack of tears and consistent asking, until you feel like you can't ask anymore,

But yet,

They are still answered,

In one way or another.

I've learned to never mistake dishwashing fluid for hand soap.

And never try to restart the dishwasher after thinking you've cleaned out all the bubbles, because I promise, you never get all the bubbles.

I've learned that pinterest can be the biggest blessing, and also, the biggest curse.

(Side note- If I continue to pin hundreds of recipes, will any of them  ever actually get made?)

I've learned that sometimes, loneliness is part of life,

And everyone feels it at one point or another,

But yet, no one really wants to talk about it.

I've learned that adult life is scary,

But no one really wants to talk about that either.

But I've learned that it's in those moments.

Those moments where you open up,

And share your heart,

Your fears,

Your dreams with others,

Open up your world just a little bit more,

Where the person sitting across the table isn't perfect,

But in their flaws,

You can see their beauty.

I've learned that friendships are hard when you don't live down the hall from your people,

And you can't just skip class to spend time together.

There is no dining hall in the adult world, where you run into all of your friends if you stay there long enough.

I've learned that real friendships, true friendships, take time,

And intentionality.

And sometimes, all friendships aren't meant to last throughout your entire life.

Some friendships are meant for seasons,

But that doesn't make those friendships any less sweet.

I've learned that coffee really is a gift from God,

And sometimes, there is a thing as too much Diet Coke.

I've learned I'm worth doors being held open,

I'm worth being told I'm beautiful,

But that worth doesn't come from the person holding the doors,

And saying the sweet words,

That worth comes from my identity in Christ, and the fact that I am loved and created by a God who sees and knows my intimately.

I've learned that sometimes God feels present, so close you feel like you could reach out and touch,

And sometimes He feels so far away that you can do nothing but sit and pray for some sort of reminder that He is actually there,

But yet,

He is still there.

I've learned to grow,

I've learned to change,

I've learned that life never looks like you think it's going to,

And sometimes you end up in jobs,

And cities,

And relationships,

That you never saw coming,

But it's in those surprises,

That holds life sweetness.

So as I sit, four years after graduation,

Four years into "real life",

Four years after leaving the place where I sat in a classroom and learned for four amazing years,

I have to think,

That life is about learning,

And if these are only the first four years of "real life",

I can't wait to see what kind of learning the next four years hold.

And David, I'm sorry I never returned your text.

But consider this your answer to your question.