And I'm not sure why.
I love my family.
I love food.
I love parades.
So, in that sense, Thanksgiving should be the holiday that I count down to every year.
But it never is.
I think it's the fact that I know that Thanksgiving is an entire day devoted to sitting around and eating that stresses me out.
Suddenly, the exact think I try to avoid doing on a daily basis,
Gorging myself on carbs and sugar,
Is not only accepted,
It's celebrated.
But when I think about the true meaning of Thanksgiving, the root of the word of Thanksgiving, I think I don't enjoy the holiday because we, as a whole, have kind of missed the point.
Thanksgiving: : a public acknowledgment or celebration of divine goodness; a day set apart for giving thanks to God.
A day set apart of giving thanks to God.
A public acknowledgement or celebration of divine goodness.
Maybe I dislike Thanksgiving because I'm missing the point.
And maybe I'm missing the point, because I've been lacking little bit of Thanksgiving all year round.
If i had to be honest, my heart has been really tired recently.
I've been walking through a season of doubt,
A season of confusion.
A season of challenges.
And it's not because my life is bad,
I love my life.
I truly do.
But life, in every sense of the word, can cause doubt,
And be challenging,
And be confusing,
And force us to acknowledge the fact that we actually have very little control over anything.
And instead of leaning into that,
And being grateful that I serve a God that does control everything,
I've allowed myself to become bitter,
And cynical,
And tired.
And when I read this quote today in the book I'm reading " A Praying Life" by Paul E. Miller
I figured out the source of my weariness.
And it's because I haven't been taking time to rest in the Thanksgiving.
"Thankfulness isn't a matter of forcing yourself to see the happy side of life. That would be like returning to naive optimism. Thanking God restores the natural order of our dependence on God. It enables us to see life as it really is...cynicism looks reality in the face, calls it phony, and prides itself on it's insight as it pulls back. Thanksgiving looks reality in the face and rejoices at God's care. It replaces a bitter spirit with a generous one".
Real Thanksgiving isn't pretending that everything is OK.
Real Thanksgiving is knowing it isn't and choosing to see the Lord's provision, even in the doubt challenges, even in the confusion.
Real Thanksgiving isn't strongest when God takes away everything that makes your heart weary.
Real Thanksgiving is strongest when you live in the weariness, and choose to see the blessings.
Real Thanksgiving is resting in the fact He is God, and we are not.
Real Thanksgiving is standing in the middle of the doubt
In the middle of the challenges,
In the middle of the confusion,
And choosing to see that although we might not know the way out,
That there are small reminders, every day, to point us back towards a God that does.
Real Thanksgiving is resting in that fact,
And watching for those blessings,
And choosing to be thankful for them.
