You Are Not Enough

Today is one of those days where I just wanted to throw up my hands and quit.

Today is one of those days where I saw constant reminders of my flaws,

Where I lack,

Where I'm not enough.

 I'm not organized enough.

 I'm not clean enough.

 I'm not nice enough.

I'm not responsible enough.

I'm just not enough.

And everywhere I turned,

My already sensitive heart seemed to pick out the reminders of that.

I carry this flaw,

The flaw that no matter how fast I run,

No matter how much I chase,

No matter how much I try,

I will never be able to do it all.

And that moment,

That realization,

Is humbling,

And scary,

And downright heartbreaking.

That even when all of my cylinders are going at full speed,

I will never get it all done.

That even when I feel like I'm accomplishing the most,

Something will be left behind.

That even at my very best,

I will never be enough for everyone.

And that thought can be paralyzing,

And result in tearful phone calls in a Target parking lot.

Or that realization,

That humbling,

Scary,

Downright heartbreaking realization,

Can be our first step into freedom.

You are not enough.

But, you don't have to be.

You will never get it all done.

But that's alright.

You will never be everything for everyone.

And that's how it should be.

You will trip,

You will fall,

You will side swipe cars at Target,

Because you are not supposed to be able to do it all.

You are not enough, because if you were,

Having a God that is,

A God that is big enough,

Strong enough,

Loving enough,

Merciful enough,

Kind enough,

Omniscient enough,

To help us walk through any rough day,

Any heartbreak,

Any success,

Any grand adventures,

Or great failures,

Wouldn't be as amazing.

You are not enough.

And you will have days that show you that.

Because sometimes we need to be reminded that our God is enough,

And even in our failings,

And even in our shortcomings,

And even in our irrational breakdowns in Target parking lots,

When we come face to face with the fact that we are not enough,

Is when we come face to face with a God that is.

In the eyes of the world, we may not be enough.

But when we have a God that is,

Somehow we become enough too.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. " 2 Corinthians 2:9